| WHIMSYS
WRY BITS OF WIT AND WISDOM by a master poet:
Wisdom seldom captivates a fool
and refreshing thought was never taught
by structured lessons in a school.
The reason kids might learn to lie
is signals they see from both you and me
when we create each alibi.
Behold how a gross slimy worm
becomes butterfly, to vain flutter by
unaware how it made us squirm.
This I read of the pelican;
His beak holds much more, than his gut can store
but don't say how the Hell he can.
Northern folks serve beer in mugs,
wine in fancy glass, so I'm sure they'd pass,
Georgia moonshine, straight from jugs.
Leaving tracts on euthanasia
at your granny's plate may shorten your wait
but that's still not nice in Asia.
Folks who like good water agree;
to escape the slime, up river you climb,
but still downstream of something's pee!
In the booth when you have to choose
and each choice is bad, wouldn't you feel glad
if both candidates could lose?
Lightning Bugs take gigantic flights
to winter with flair, in cold Arctic air
where they take form as Northern lights.
The very best, we'll never be!
So, why not you say when we spend our day
anesthetized by our TV!
George Custer wears six feet of dirt
cause he was so vain, on his last campaign,
he chose to wear an Arrow Shirt!
You never see a goldfish wink.
They can't close their eye, you can't see them cry
and water's all they ever drink!
Some folks sure know what's good for you
and they are a pain, when they must explain
just what you must or should not do!
Behold how a gross slimy worm
becomes butterfly, to vain flutter by
unaware how it makes us squirm.
Folks who like good water agree;
to escape the slime, up river you climb,
but still downstream of something's pee!
In the booth when you have to choose
and each choice is bad, wouldn't you feel glad
if both candidates could lose?
You never see a goldfish wink.
They can't close their eye, you can't see them cry
and water's all they ever drink!
Some folks sure know what's good for you
and they are a pain, when they must explain
just what you must or should not do!
I saw a man fishing in one of his hats
which seemed so exciting, I queried, "What's biting?"
He said, "Mosquitoes, chiggers and gnats!"
The slimy worm will undulate
but bumping another, his sister or brother,
or with himself, he'll procreate!
Each molecule's concavity
sucks on the next, this suction collects
and that's what causes gravity
Most modern art seems waste of paint
No great show of skill, no message fulfill
They may be art, pictures, they ain't!
Pick modest men for your love nest!
When the band goes past, we hear tuba=s blast.
Does the loudest horn sound the best?
I hear your news with some regrets
New mother to be, does baby agree,
to help you smoke those cigarettes?
Those Outlet Stores all promise more
but once you stop there, real bargains are rare,
A store is a store is a store!
Each of us have some wild oats sown!
If we judge others, Sisters and Brothers,
those without sin cast the first stone.
Why should price, expensive be
of fish with scale plus head and tail
and eyes that stare back at me?
If you would keep your Garden green,
plant poop with the seeds and pull all the weeds,
water a lot and don't talk mean.
Kids bug you with conduct sub par,
your anger they face, there's only one place
to belt your kids, that's in the car.
People think booze helps them unbend.
That their problems shrink, by drinking a drink?
They don't but some fools still pretend.
My body longs to be smaller.
As weight piles behind, I diet and find
its easier to grow taller.
While growing old do I alone
remember when I, was too poor to buy
a drugstore's nickel ice cream cone?
Writing my whimsys, makes me laugh
which few folks will share but worse, they won't care,
and never beg my autograph.
Girls wear swim suits most erotic
devoid of chaste trim, not meant for a swim,
is maker or wearer psychotic.
Do they think we're their missing link?
Own power of thought, a skill that's not taught,
or do apes just think that they think.
Good foods can fail you, it appears
for healthy Jack Spratt would never eat fat
yet she was widowed twenty years.
Some Saints require someone to scorn,
a contrast to show, how noble they grow
quite sure they're rose and not the thorn!
Long visits are like last weeks trout.
Fish endured too long have odors so strong
your sadly forced to throw them out.
Because I smile, you think you're glib
but manners require I not call you liar
although I know your tale is fib!
Choice of words meant just to flatter,
though maybe sincere, most often appear
empty as a parrot's chatter.
When you teach young children to hate
they'll practice on you, what you've taught them to
and you won't have too long to wait!
When packing bags envy the spider
who somehow can hold and neatly unfold
that intricate web packed inside her.
A simple tale is hard to tell
if verbs we must use seem bound to confuse
since our nose runs yet our feet smell.
When people ask, "How's tricks with you?"
Sing, dance or tumble, speak up, don't mumble,
Tell them proudly what you can do.
We treat the sea as garbage can,
with wastes that create at some nearing date,
Bhopal on the installment plan
When waiters ask, may I take your plate?"
I answer, with jest,"If starved, be my guest!"
Ashamed to show how fast I ate.
Seattle has something for everyone
clean water, tall trees, grand mountains, blue seas
but don't come here in search of sun.
Most big city water when drunk
is polluted so bad you'd swear that it had
been filtered through a sickly skunk
Since desert air is hot and dry
a nap by the pool we take to be cool
does not bring tans, instead we fry.
Eskimos girls seem to giggle a lot.
Their undies of fur must tickle I'm sure
and keeps their bottoms almost hot.
The largest trees were once a twig
but got the right start. so please do your part,
with small folks who learn from the big.
As parent, good example be
and so, I should teach, forbid that I preach,
grow my children better than me.
We should all eat just like the hog
which never eats more than belly can store,
proving them smarter than any dog.
To love is the ideal Paradigm.
You harshly tempt fate by learning to hate
since hate is a self-punishing crime.
Listen cowboys, all him and hers,
if camp bean pot compels you to trot
don't ever squat while wearing spurs.
When I am judged, at Heaven's door
wealth, wasted away, my maker will say,
He never forgot being poor
Modern poets I most distrust
avoid words that rhyme, perversely they mime
carpenters who just make sawdust
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