Wit and Wisdom...

       SWIMMER ADVICE
Don't go swimming with sharks
despite their wide and friendly grin.
They think humans easy marks,
and people food is not a sin.

Sharks might inhabit water parks
where you might spot their dorsal fin,
while they hunt food in circling arcs.
with napkins strapped beneath their chin.

FOSSILS
Did they bark or simply groan
were they colored red or black?
How can you tell, from one small bone
when all the meat you really lack?

Those bone fragments that still remain,
are petrified, you must confess.
Their flesh, turned oil or gas methane
leaving just a presumptive guess.

They now could clone a dinosaur
if they could find some DNA.
Their chromosomes exist no more,
so petrified these fossils stay.

MY UNGRATEFUL BIRD
My parrot, has a strident croak,
betraying me ungratefully.
It will not curse or crack a joke,
nor whistle or talk or even try,
but It changes color instantly
when hearing someone tell a lie
which gives great cause for it to die!.

That bird turns green from crimson red,
faster than most street stop lights do
just hearing lies that someone said.
I am puzzled and angry too,
why bird I reared and kindly fed
will rat me out if I speak untrue,
and why it should turn parrot stew.

        DON'T SERVE ME GRITS
There are few foods, that I don't like
though there are some that don't like me.
Corn grits inspire my hunger strike
and other diners should agree.

All through the south, this tasteless grain
comes with each fried or scrambled egg.
I don't want grits, you might complain
but they still come unless you beg.

I don't know why they turn good corn
into ersatz paperhanger paste
which all discerning guts will scorn,
so grits scoot through, a total waste.

       RAZOR SHARP
Biff the blade was consumed by hate,
and feared, by all who lived by him.
Flaunting Maude, his new bed-mate,
he bragged on her to neighbor Jim.